Keeping cool at Tattershall.

Back in May, top man, Barry Matson from Tattershall Lakes in Lincolnshire gave me a shout while I was at work and said in a soft Lincolnshire accent: “Hi Gary, Dave Wootton from Yamaha gave me your name and said that you might be able to help me out with a little event” “Sure can, love to, when?” I asked. He replied with“ Just let me know when you’ve got a free weekend”. Well out came the pierats calendar and I found to my great surprise that we had in fact, just one free weekend, yeah really! The weekend was the 26-27^th July. So I gave Barry a call and he just said “Fantastic, see you then”.

So I gave the ever-growing team a call to see who was up for it. James Anker, Paul Martin, Dan Ashcroft, Luke Stocks and Jules Ricci were the men for the Tattershall job.

I got to the lake at noon on that Saturday and wow what a scorcher, 29°c, it was going to be the hottest weekend of the year, in more ways than one. As I drove through the park I could only just see the water through the hundreds of people thronging the lakeside. There were Fun Fair rides, Boat rides, Stalls, Live bands playing on an open air stage and Dave Wootton down on the water, taking potential customers out for demos aboard his ski.

 The rest of the team were already there and ready to go, so we unhitched the ski and after a short chat with Barry we were on the water.

We entertained the crowds with three 30-minute shows each day during the weekend with of course our usual big air tricks and synchronised skiing. During our time out on the water the crowd really were lapping it up and with the weather being so good many were in T-Shirts and shorts and looking very hot. Now in this modern sue culture world that we live in, it really is a big no no to ever soak the crowd, but as we wish to push the frontiers of skiing ever forward, we decided to give them all a real soaking and I mean a real soaking. So three unnamed members of the team (for legal reasons) threw the skis 180° and jumped onto the fronts and fountained the lot of them! Well, we held our breaths and waited for the water to settle before we could see the carnage, to our great surprise they all wanted more, Fantastic!! What a breath of fresh air, the fun was back in jet skiing! We packed the skis away on that Saturday night and headed back to the log cabin that Barry had arranged for our weekend stay. I, at this time, was the last to see this mansion house, wow. Well we lit the BBQ and threw on the ribs and steaks, opened a few cans of beer and spent the early evening taking the piss out of each other. Mainly stoxy!!!!

Saturday night did not end until the early hours for many of the team, but being the athletes they are Sunday morning did not prove a problem. At about 8.30 I tip toed over the bodies in the lounge and opened the large wooden French doors and was greeted by an abundance of sunshine fighting it’s way through a thin mist cloaking the trees at the back of our log cabin, the birds were singing and the sound of farting in the background could be clearly heard.

After a hearty breakfast at the side of the lake, a man approaches and asked if we were the jetskiers, of course as proud as punch we were delighted to inform him that we were. “Which one of you buggers soaked me yesterday” he shouted. Well being the sort of people we are, we all blamed each other, but he was not happy and wanted revenge, so after a long discussion (about 30 seconds) we decided to volunteer for the custard pie treatment, this meant that for a small fee, £5 for cancer research to be exact, this guy and many others could now get there own back and boy did they make us suffer, I did at one point think I was going to suffocate as i was covered in so much cream, believe me breathing through your ears is not possible!